It was my freshmen year at college. We were supposed to pick partners from our Freshmen Interest Groups and introduce each other to the rest of the class which consisted 20 or so students. He had caught my attention earlier that day with his bright red hair and now was my chance to get to know him. I looked over and asked, "wanna be partners?"

"Sure."

The first day of classes roll around. Then the second day and then the third. It wasn't until a couple weeks into that first quarter that I got a friend request on Facebook. "Dallas has sent you a friend request." We'd casually message and email each other back and forth and eventually started meeting up to do homework together. It was mostly him teaching me redox reactions while I tried to focus. Every night we would chat on AIM and everyday we'd walk to class together. We had a really good dynamic. He would suggest songs for me to listen to and I would give him lists of books that he had to read. Sometimes, I'd do silly things like write him haikus and sonnets about grapes (my second least favorite fruit).

Clearly we were just friends. Eventually I had developed some very strong feelings for this guy and we started hanging out more... minus chemistry homework. At the rate I was going, I made my boyfriend at the time very uncomfortable. And lo and behold, I wasn't allowed to see Dallas anymore. No more emails, no more phone calls, no texts or facebooking. Nothing. That was what I had to stick to if I wanted to keep on dating Lowell.

I was a horrible friend and an even worse girlfriend. I had pretty much emotionally cheated on my boyfriend. While I spent afternoons lying in bed with Lowell, my mind would wander to Dallas and his goofy grin and nonchalant personality. And during the few moments that I spent with Dallas, I would think of Lowell and how I was betraying him.

I hate the way I ended things with my one true friend at the UW. He made that place much more bearable for me-- I just stopped talking to him without an explanation. He never questioned it because I think he knew. I emailed him an apology earlier tonight and suggested we meet up. I'm a little nervous because he could very well never respond. I feel like I owe it to him and myself as well for being such a terrible person. The way I handled that situation is not something that I want on my conscience... or how I want him to remember me.